I went to the dentist last week.
And after letting an attractive blonde gal scrape the hell outta my teeth with metal instrument after metal instrument then polishing them with some really foul chalk-like paste he came by to spread his usual joy.
“Hey! How’s it going…You really need a mouth guard,” he said. “You’re grinding the hell outta your teeth at night.”
I nodded and did my best not to comment on the dollar signs cha-chinging in his eyes.
“And it looks like you’ve got a few fillings outta place…Ya’ getting food jammed back in there on the left side I bet.”
I nodded and said, “Just when I eat steak. Chicken wings. Jerky.”
“Yeah. Avoid eating those things until I can get you back in here to straighten that out for ya.”
I ignored this and agreed, made an appointment to get my fillings taken care of (Screw that mouth guard though! Like I’ve got an extra $500 for outta pocket!) and headed back to the office.
Yep! A crate size box of Country Archer Jerky Co. jerky to test.
I just got several pounds of meat to sample!
So I grabbed a 12 pack, a gigantic spool of dental floss, and note pad and went to work.
Sweet Jalapeno was hands down the best of the bunch!
And, yes, to all of you not privileged enough to have been born in Texas…jalapenos are sweet. They are not hot. They have some heat. But are not hot. Such was the case with this bag of jerky. A little heat. A little sweet. All good. And all gone real quick.
The sweet heat continued with Mango Habanero. A little hotter than the Sweet Jalapeno but not much more. The sweet was a little sweeter as well. All in all pretty darn good but just not quite as good as the Sweet Jalapeno.
Beer me again and pass the floss…Daddy needs to operate.
How do you celebrate dislodging 1/4 pound of meat from between your back molars?
With Crushed Red Pepper of course! This was some good stuff and the best of all for snacking while drinking. Good heat. Great taste. Damn fine jerky.
Back to the floss and why not have another beer.
Although these bars have the consistency of canned cat food) Or maybe my jaw is just mush at this point), they’re damn good and I can see me packing out a few of them on my next trip afield. Herb Citrus was the best of the three although Cayenne Beef With Pork and Sweet BBQ Pork were really good as well.
The clear winner of the bunch was Sweet Jalapeno and I plan on eating quite a bot more of it once my teeth get fused or whatever the good Dr. has planned for me.